Becoming a first-time parent is an incredible experience – this little person comes into the world and opens up a window to your heart that lets the sunshine pour in. Last November, DSP welcomed a tiny new member to our extended family. New father, Phillip Sherman, shares his thoughts on becoming a daddy.
“Benjamin Phillip Sherman was born seven months ago, and although it was crazy at the beginning, things are starting to settle down – sort of! Fortunately, I’m not the kind of person who gets too affected by things, including huge changes and surprises, and I tend to take things in stride. This has been hugely helpful in transitioning into the role of “father” – there are a lot of changes and lots of new things to get used to.
One of the biggest changes I’ve experienced is the relationship with my wife. Our quality time together has become more rare, but that means that the simplest conversations – like how our day went – become much more important.
Then there’s the change in how you feel about yourself. In the blink of an eye, your sense of who you are is transformed. When I look into my son’s little face and see my own reflection looking back, I feel an unconditional love that I never imagined possible. I melt when he smiles that special toothless (for now) smile that only the two of us share – you know, the one he saves just for me.
When I hold him, only a portion of my thoughts linger on the present. I often daydream about the future and all the fun we’re going to have playing catch, going to sporting events, washing cars together, and driving mom crazy. There is so much I want to teach him. But then I realize that those things are about me. I want Benjamin to be himself, to do the things he wants to do, to find out what he likes, and to do what makes him happy.
He’s lovely right now, but I feel so vulnerable knowing he has the capacity to break my heart in a way that no one else could. I know he will drive me nuts as a teenager, and probably before that, but none of that will matter. I will love him with all my heart and that will never change. At some point he’ll think I’m an old dude without a clue. But in the end, I just want him to look at me one day and say, “I’m glad I’m your son, Dad. I love you.”